PINKY PROMISE <3 

                                                       
                         What u think about it??


                    I thinks its cool n kindda awesome..
                                                                                        TOTALLY.. 

                        See it in movie scene..


                            Drama scene..


         Its like u're making promise with CUTE way.. 
                                                                              

                     I guess i will give a shoot..

                                            
                 making pinky promise with my BEST FRIENDS...
                               
                          BEST BUDDY..
                                
                          BEST BESTIE..
                                                    
                    BEST BOYFRIENDS... NO WAY!!

                                                
                  WOW!! its cute indeed give me an idea..

                                                     
                      like a little things to try...

My Paranoid: hey

My Paranoid: hey: "Read this n u will know more about who i'm... he3 thanks

hey

This is totally my blog...
Hehe...
Obviously huh??
I just wanna say that.......

Dear All my friends,

The real purpose that i share my story is because...

I really wanna let him go..

Its totally not cursing him..

Or another source to make him come back..

Indeed i believe that his will not find this blog..

Until his last breath.. 

The Truth is the hardest thing for us..

and there is no turning back for me..

Its really hard to move on so...

I decided and promised to myself that..

Even his come back with whatever reason.. 

Its still No!!! 

I love him not because money.. Appearance.. 

But just him..

No matter how cruel he treat me.. 

Honestly i'm proud to myself...

At least i got a lesson n experience to see this world more wider than i thought...

So even if he is reading my blog...

I'm totally not angry or cursing u..

Just treat everyone better if u want all people treat u better..

In this world!!

Whats come around goes around..

Let gone by gone..

U're my first love n nothing gonna change it..

Once u touch my heart..

Forever u will be there... 

p/s: I'm Totally move on...

Done!!

My love story totally done now!! (>.<!!)
Thanks for support!! 
tribute to him.. <3 he3...
I'm totally satisfy with myself now.. 
TOTALLY!! 

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."
--Bruce Lee

Move on 2

This time is the hardest part for me...
Move on for second time.. 
Ceh!! its really hurt n full of pain..
Really .. 


u know.. i can't cry..
Dunno why??
like usual time...
My tears love to fall either in sleep or not..
Too over dose frustrated...
SERIOUSLY!!! 


i'm wasting my time..
reading article in Google..
its about 50 articles..
Which is about How to move on...
oh!! my even in my dream.. 

i never thought that i can read so many articles about one thing...


indeed..
its harder because we are not break up with good way...
He just replay nothing..
There is something that i really regret about... 
Then..
Listen to move on song,
Sad song,
Spirit song,
anything that make me alive..


i really dont eat proper for one week..
No appetite at all.. 
Keep asking people opinion..
Shame on me..
Keep listening to advice.. =.="
imagine people opinion..


My emotional!!! 
Ceh!! not Stable at all..
Pity to my siblings...
Cant sleep tight too.. 
Watch kpop mv all over repeating...
like dead people huh!! =.=" 
i really feel worst !! Totally worst..
Lastly i paste in my sticker note in my lapy... 

"It's a Shame For You Not to Get Over Ex When These People Do It So Easily"

Then, after a week.. 
I can behave myself back.. 
W0a!! its so tiring.. 
Use all my energy ...


But i'm totally back off..
Deleting his picture..
Phone number...
indeed all his sweet massage.... 
i'm totally OVER it...  =.="

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."

Reason

After that..
I just think back!!
All of it..
Calmly..
Really frustrated with..
Unreasonable break up.. 


We have a lot of differences...


Too far away...


Both of us egoist..


Like to be in safe place..

Keep secret by ourself ...

Both not into long relationship...


Still blur about future..


Donno to communicate.. 


He have many experience in love..


While me... Zero !! coz love rejecting people...
In my mind.. i just need someone who i'm comfortable with...


I always need his attention...


He cant accept.. 
I'm anti-smoking..


He say: I'm demanding n always try to make him jealous..


When i'm telling something..
His not into my story..
The truth.. Not supportive at all..

I'm totally fake when i say i can accept his past!!

3 ex-lover and 18 crushes ( he said those girl just like whisper)

His not really into them..

He never consider my feelings..


Actually he decide everything..


Too many hope our relationship.. 


He just changed after few weeks..


Totally make me feel alone..


I have many things to say but..
I donno how to express my feelings.. 
He kindda hurt with my secret keeper attitude!!


He is Handsome n i'm just ordinary girl..
indeed i'm short n not match my age..


Both of us.. born in December..

Sometimes.. i always say that it will be better if we are not far apart...


Dream of somethings that kindda hard to be fulfill...

 "Love is a dream that comes alive when we meet."

Replay

Can u imagine how does it feel...
Curses!! 
What the heck with that massage..
ok fine..
i'm totally not strong enough..
So i let meia...
Replay for me..

Honestly..
I just blur for a while!!
In my mind..
HUH!!! 
Really??
Oh! my.. i still dont believe it.. 
Then,
Meia just give the best shoot..
Shes tell that all the opposite like..


i really deserve someone better..
Thanks for make it simple..
n many more..
Just cant remember all of that...
But deep inside me..
This what i get after all happen..
The most painful part..
When he really don't replay all my massage...
even one...

This the way u treat ur ex???
Hey!!!
how could u???
Uish.. my anger just getting deeper..
But what can i do!!
Seriously.. any suggestion??
So i decide to make it clear..
after send 2 massage to him..
about..
Lets be friends back..
This the way u say good bye??




HELLO!! 
Then, i pay all the the credits..
That he give me..
Really wanna make it clear..
But he still not replying anything..


I'm totally decide to back off..
I really dont want to look desperate...
Coz i guess.. 
I also cannot hold this relationship..
Its totally useless.. 

  "If you love me only in my dreams, let me be asleep forever."

Last message

Finally 

After long conversation..
i just awake from my dream..
In my heart..
OK!! we start all over again..
I LOVE THIS RELATIONSHIP..
Which i meant that i dont want any bad things..
Hurm.. i give a simple text to him..
Really simple..
I really love this relationship.. 
Lets start all over again.. Will u willing doing that??
But after 5 hours...
No answer...
Curses!! i dont want to give a call..
So i just waiting here..
I have appointment with meia..
My bestie n SLS president...
We have a simple lunch.. 
but suddenly.. i got massage 
From him..
Thump!! Thump!! 
This is the real text!! 

"awk terlalu baik buat sy.. xsesuai utk awk.. mybe i shuld let u go.. kte trlalu ja0.. jgnla awk menages... mugkin stu mse nnt awk akn jumpe keksih yg btol2 bwt awk rse dhrgai.. air mte awk sgt brhrge n bkn utk sy.. lupekn sy.. thank for everitin.. forgive me.. mybe somday when we see each other u have alredy had de 1 that ur chose.. i'm sorry.. keep live on wit u life.. i'll alwys remeber u.. asalamualaikum.." (>.<!!)

can u imagine what i feel??

Uish!! its really hurt n full of pain.. for real..

But what i can say????

Tell me??

give suggestion???

Oh my...

i'm totally SPEECHLESS (=.=")

"Love is friendship set on fire."

--Jeremy Taylor

Confuse again

Gee~~ 
My love really does not last longer...
For real.. Erm..
Now i'm having problem.. 
I'm confuse with myself..
Either really i love him??
or after all this i just wanna friends??
or just i'm pity to him..
So i decide to ask my friends opinion..
For my goodness..
i really do that!!

I just need time.. 
So.. 
 i tell lie once again..
i tell him that ..
i now working.. 
Oh!! Curses!! really...
All in all, 
They say that i have to discuss this matter to him..
so i give a call.. 
I tell him all i feel..
he let me decide.. 
uish!! lol..
I cant sleep think about it.. 
But he seems cant get it..
He really sound not satisfy with my words...
Oh!! i really disappointed...  
But what can i do...
Thats what i feel... can he be able to understand me??

 "Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."
--Robert Sexton